You and your preschooler are enjoying a beautiful summer day at the park or the beach. She sees some friends from school and excitedly runs over to join them. As they play, you observe another child snatch a swing out of your daughter’s hands. Your child is told she can’t play with the group. Is this bullying?

A spate of recent articles tells us that bullying is happening at younger and younger ages. In fact, there’s even a new term for it: relational aggression. Social scientists define relational aggression as physical or psychological acts that are intentionally harmful, usually involving an imbalance of power. Two boys fighting over a swing who end up in a tug-of-war? That’s most likely healthy conflict that happens in parks and preschools everywhere. Young children are impulsive and active. Fights over playground equipment are typical behaviors, and kids learn how to problem solve, take turns and compromise through these types of everyday conflicts. When the intent is to exclude, humiliate or harm a child, it is defined as bullying.

Isn’t bullying an “older” kid problem? Not necessarily. Psychologists and researchers are noticing that children as young as age three can be involved in bullying behaviors. How can young children learn this kind of behavior? Experts believe a number of factors are responsible. Television programs are rich in rude behavior and disrespectful language. Making fun of others passes for entertainment in some shows. Another factor, experts say, is that young children often imitate behaviors they’ve observed. If children see parents, siblings or friends acting as bullies, they might try it out for themselves.

What can parents do to support and protect their kids? Observe your child when he plays at the park or beach. Find out what is happening – is the conflict simply two kids that want the same toy at the same time? Or is one child trying to exclude or harm another? Give your child some tools to use when told she can’t play. Using words to say, “I don’t like that” or “stop it” can sometimes be enough. Ignoring the bully can also be effective. Telling an adult should always be an option for young children.

What are some signs that your child might be the victim of bullying? Some children don’t want to go to school or activities that they’ve previously enjoyed. Other kids complain about stomach aches or headaches prior to school or a playdate that may be stressful. Some children become more withdrawn, or will verbalize that someone is bothering them.

Parents should also consider if their child’s behavior is bullying. Does your child have little empathy for other children’s feelings? Is she aggressive toward children and adults most of the time? Does he want to be in control all the time or feel that he’s always right? Remember, all young children demonstrate these traits given certain situations. If your son or daughter seems locked in to this kind of behavior and you feel it is a pattern, or if you’re getting feedback from teachers and other parents, it could be time to reach out to a professional. FSG offers Parent Consultations to help you evaluate behavior and address your concerns. For more information, contact kathy@familyserviceofglencoe.org.

Going away to overnight camp is a rite of passage for many kids. And while many children eagerly look forward to this time away from home each summer, other kids may find it to be emotionally overwhelming.

Making new friends and fitting in socially, being homesick and coping away from the support of Mom and Dad are typical concerns. Reassuring your child that their apprehensive thoughts are normal is a great place to start.

For kids who are planning on attending sleep-away camp for the first time there are some things you can do ahead of time to help prepare them to ensure they have a fun and enjoyable experience their first time away. The following are tips from FSG therapist, Kathy Livingston, LCSW:

Begin with practice sleepovers.

Choose a relative, family friend or your child’s best friend’s house to help your child adapt to being away from home at night. Many kids have never had to share a bedroom before and at camp will have to share a cabin with several other children. Consider planning a slumber party to expose them to how group living may feel.

Review the camp’s brochure or website.

Or even better yet, visit the camp itself. Fear of the unknown is terrifying for many first-time campers. Let them see what the camp looks like and where important things like the dining hall, bathrooms and bunks are all located. The more familiar your camper is with the setting and schedule the more he will know what to expect.

What if I start to miss Mom and Dad?

Make sure your child knows whom she can talk to if she’s feeling blue or homesick. Counselors are on hand to help kids with these normal feelings and many camps have a social worker on staff.

Get them involved in the packing.

Work off the list provided by the camp and make sure that clothes have been worn and washed and are comfortable. If your child is attached to a sentimental item, such as a stuffed animal or blanket, let them bring it along.

Teach your child how to handle clothes and toiletries.

Explain what to do with dirty laundry. Show them how to carry their toiletries to the bathroom in a basket. Keep toiletries and belongings simple and easy to use.

Meet other kids before camp.

If you know other kids in your area that are going to the camp, have a get together prior to camp. If you don’t know anyone ask the camp if there are kids going from neighboring communities and call them to meet them before camp starts. Having at least one familiar face in a sea of strangers can be incredibly comforting.

Connect through letters and care packages.

Write a letter ahead of time so there is a letter waiting for them when they arrive at camp. And always respond to their letters and send care packages in a timely manner, so that your child is never left waiting while children around them receive letters and packages. When packing, be sure to include stamps, stationery and envelopes for your child to use to keep in touch. And if email is an option, use it! Each camp will have its own communication guidelines and protocol.

Stay positive.

Despite feeling your own anxiety over the separation never discuss how much your child will be missed back home. Children take direction from their parents’ confidence, so you don’t want them to feel that you are anxious, too. Keep your conversations positive and express enthusiasm and confidence in you your child and excitement for them to experience a new environment and make new friends. Share your own experiences from camp if relevant.

While anxious now, your camper will likely be singing a different song and dance after their summer camp experience and come home with a new sense of independence.

Looking for more advice on helping your new camper adjust and feel at ease about their upcoming summer adventure? Kathy is happy to offer additional help and guidance. For more information, contact Kathy at kathy@familyserviceofglencoe.org or by calling 847-835-5111.

The board of directors of Family Service of Glencoe is announcing the departure of our executive director, Susan E. Cowen, LCSW. Suzy has accepted a position as president and CEO of the Kenneth Young Center in the Chicago Northwest suburbs.

Suzy’s dedication and expertise have taken our agency to the next level as we have increased our outreach and support of the emotional needs of the Glencoe community. Our donor base has grown and our organization is financially sound. During her tenure, FSG has more than doubled in size—expanding counseling services, Glencoe Parent Connection, community partnerships, and opening up a secondary office location to meet community demand. In addition, this past year FSG completed a comprehensive strategic plan and a community-wide needs assessment that will guide our future as we continue to support and advocate for the socio-emotional needs of all who live or work in Glencoe.

Suzy’s leadership will be sorely missed, but we are confident that FSG will continue to provide high quality service as we embark on seeking our agency’s next executive director. Beginning May 1, Al Ross, LCSW, FSG clinical director, will serve as the interim executive director while maintaining his commitment to his current clients. Al brings decades of experience serving Glencoe children, teens and their parents and will maintain day-to-day operations during the transition. The FSG board of directors is forming a search committee comprised of internal and external stakeholders.

The quality of our services will continue to be our priority. Our clinical staff will provide consistent care and treatment throughout the search process. Upon selection, details about the new executive director will be shared.

Please join us in showing Suzy our sincere appreciation for all of her accomplishments at FSG. We wish her the very best in her next position.